of scratch cards, coffee machines, and angry people.

hello!

thank GOD it's the end of the week - i could really do with a new one.
i've got the day off today but y'know what? this week has worn me out that much i can't even enjoy it.
i've been lying on my sofa all morning watching dvds. i've been trying to wind down because this week at work has wound me up so tightly that i just feel tense, drained and horrible.
staff, customers, certain parts of my job...it's all been getting to me a bit too much.
i thought that today would be a nice day. a relaxing day. in some ways, it has been...but i just can't seem to shake off the annoyance of this weeks events.
actually, what am i talking about? thursday was actually a really good shift. even though i spent the whole time clock watching...it was quite fun.
wednesday, though, was just too much...i found myself hiding away in the toilets, face buried in my hands for at least 15 minutes that day.

i'm just really...disappionted with how things went that day. recently i've been really enjoying my work and having no problems with staying on, coming in early, coming in on days off...in my eyes i was earning money for doing something i enjoyed around people i (mostly) like.
maybe i'm just tired...this week alone i've done 24 hours on top of my normal 30. last week was quite the same, as well.
it's been easter week, as well...so all the rude and stressed people have come crawling out of the woodwork. plus, some of my colleagues seem to have been getting off the lazy bus all week.
so here i am - day off. i should be on my sofa, cup of coffee and a book/dvd.
however, i just can't get myself relaxed and out of work mode so i thought whilst work is still spinning around in my head then i'd take the time to bond with this blog.
so without further ado, here it is:

wednesday:
i was due in at 6am. my alarm clock went off at 4am. i put it on "snooze" mode so that it'd wake me up again in another 10 minutes - it didn't.
i wake up again at 5.36am and jolt up like i've just been shot in the leg.
the exact same thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago...it hardly ever happened to me before so i'm either getting old or just working too much.
in any event - i am quickly trying to make myself look less of a mess than i did when i suddenly get a phone call from maizy. "colin hasn't turned up yet! what do i do?"
oh. brilliant. so here i am rushing around and the fricking duty manager hasn't even turned up yet.
"calm down, maizy, i'm just leaving now..."
when i get there, still no colin. not a problem - i'll give him a call.
it was then that i looked at my phone book and realised i'd forgotten to save his number. so, maizy had to ring dean instead.
why she couldn't have done that in the first place - i'll never know. in the end, we ring dean, dean rings colin and apparently he's on his way. well, zippedi do!
of course, we havent opened on time. and of course, we had to explain why to the people hovering around outside waiting to come in.
some of them went off and decided that we were not the only shop around and that they actually had options on where to shop.
this one guy, though, decides to hang around.
picture this - it's 6.10am, i've only been awake for around half an hour, we're stuck outside waiting for someone to turn up to open the damn doors, and we have this fat little builder who kept asking us dumb questions "so, when you open can i go staight in?" (yeah, if you want to help us to set the shop up first!) "don't any of you lot have a key to open with then?" (of course we do...we just like standing out in the cold for the sheer fun of it all)
blah blah blah...
thankfully, colin arrived shortly after that but i ended up wishing he hadn't bothered. he was in a really bad mood...no good morning, no sorry for being late...just a "f*ck, i feel rough. don't even talk to me."

well screw you, an all.

anyway, we got in...and we had to pretty much swat away the moutains of people who tried to stampede their way in.
they couldn't quite fathom that we needed to set up first - patience is obviously in short supply around my town.

however, this was nothing compared to when we got into the shop and found a slight problem.
well, it was quite a BIG problem. i can't explain fully what it was because you never know whos reading this...but it meant the shop couldn't run fully.
and it put colin in an even worse mood. we ended up having a row of sorts - it ended up with me about to explode and him utterly unimpressed.

i won't go into the whole thing here - it'd take too long. to cut a long story short, he gave me several jobs to do over the course of the day, none of which he could be bothered to explain properly so some of which i stuffed up.
he insulted me and my work several times and i wasn't having it. so i had a go at him for it.
he wasn't expecting it - especially not from me. i'm normally the sort of person that will take the insult, get pissed off by it but bitterly hold my emotions in and make voo doo dolls later on.
it wasn't even the fact he insulted me, actually...it was the laughing in my face that did it for me.
i could have been a lot worse in my tirade at him, actually...i could have said "actually, i messed this job up because you had one eye on your cigarette and the other on seeing how big a voilin you could play for yourself. what's happening in the store right now is ALL of our problem...so maybe if you took the time to explain a job i've never done before rather than just expect me to guess then things would run a lot smoother. you can't be bothered today - and THAT'S why i f*cked up. if anyone is the thick one - it's YOU."

yup, at one point he actually called me thick. and later on muttered to someone else that i was incapable. this someone else is actually a very good friend of mine who will be honest with me 100%. if i was being stupid - she'd have said so. in fact, what she said was that colin didn't explain the job properly, he was totally out of line to me, and even she didn't get what he'd said.
she said "don't you dare feel bad."
how could i not, though? he was getting at me all day...people don't normally get under my skin because i know that a lot (not all of them - but a lot) of the managers i've encountered in my time have had that semi-arrogance about them. i know when they yell at me it's to massage their own egos so i just let it roll off of my back.
colin, though, knew just what buttons to press...and he pressed them all at once.
so, i hid in the toilets at one point. and i'm not ashamed to admit it but i very nearly cried.
all i wanted to do was help him sort the crap out - obviously though he was on a mission to sort it all out himself so he could look good. sod everyone else who cared. sod everyone else who tried to help. it was all just The Colin Show.

later on, though, i was quite comforted to find out it wasn't just me who he was pissing off. three other members of staff came up to me and told me that he'd been rude to them, insulted them, or taken things too far with them.
i didn't take it quite so personal after that - it wasn't me that was a total useless twat...it was colin being an arrogant prick who thinks he's that smooth he can get away with what he wants.

the one moment that wound me up above all else was when i asked for help with something but he was too busy flirting with some random girl to even bother turning around to answer me.
then when i, predictably, messed things up...he had a massive go at me!
i just turned away from him and walked off rolling my eyes.
thank god he's not a doctor, he'd be too busy talking to the attractive relative to inject the patient with life saving drugs.

up until wednesday, i actually thought he was okay, and i thought he was really good at his job.
in fact, up until wednesday we were getting along grandly and he was praising my work and saying i should further my career there!
actually, i must admit, later in the afternoon he was very nice to me and we were getting along just like we used to.
so at the end of my shift i was the bigger person - i went up to him and i apologised for snapping at him.
i did that for two reasons 1. because i can't stand falling out with people and not sorting it out and 2. because i really, really wanted to put what happened between us down to the stress of the thing in the shop going wrong and not because he really DOES think i'm thick and crap at my job.

in fact, on wednesday i saw a side to myself i didn't think i had anymore. when i was a lot younger i pretty much used to row with people for the sake of it. i also used to take everything to heart and get really upset by it.
as i've got older, it takes a lot to upset me...people having a go at me at work doesn't really bother me much because it's not really a proper enviroment. people are totally different out of work so whatever they say to me i can ignore.
i also don't argue. ever. i hate argueing, i think it's a waste of energy and plus it just makes bad situations worse.

on wednesday, though, i did both of them and i was right all along - they DO make things worse.

in fact, i was so wound up and angry i couldn't even eat anything on my break. i just had a cup of coffee and sat there sulking.
that was until a lady came in from a company who was trying to get us to sign up for it.
we had a very long, very in depth discussion on a number of topics and she told me i sounded "very well read and highly intelligant."

ha! see! i can't be that thick, colin. :)

when she said that to me, i seriously could have hugged her, married her and cried. i think at that point i just wanted somebody, anybody, to be nice to me. and there she was.

after my break, i decided to be petty and childish and put myself on the main till. i wasn't putting myself out for anyone and so decided i was going to colin suffer the shop floor on his own.
i'm not being egotistic, but of the people he had in the shop that i was the only one there that day who had the "go! go! go!" attitude on the shop floor.
the rest of them were quite happy to just potter about and if all their jobs didn't get done then oh well nevermind.
i think he knew that, too, because he kept coming up to me and being really, really nice. and even though i was getting horrible customer after horrible customer...i still wouldn't change my mind. i only had an hour an a half left of my shift to go and i wasn't spending it stressing about the shop floor antics.
so colin could go and scratch.

and, yes, you did hear me right...in amongst the argueing, the insults, the sulking and the hiding in the toilets...i still managed to find the time to get moaned at by customers.

there was the two wankers who came up to my till with what seemed like hundreds of one product.
now, when this happens it normally means because the customer thinks that the product is on some sort of offer.
normally, the customer is right and the transaction is easy - however, in some cases, in this case...the customer is a fool who can't read.

i put the items through the till, i packed them nice and neatly...and then i told the guys how much it'll be. "so that's £20, then please..." i say...and there is a slight pause.
the older looking guy starts shaking his head in a weird side to side action and starts shaking his finger to voilently make his point
him - "NO IT IS NOT £20 THEN PLEASE. IT SHOULD BE AND THAT'S £5 THEN PLEASE!"
me - "oh...are they supposed to be on offer then?"

the older one turns around to the younger one, does one of those sarcastic "i don't believe this!" laughers and then turns back to me "are they supposed to be on offer? you tell me! you work here!"
me - "well, i really don't think that amount of [product name here] would come to £5 whatever offer it may be on...hang on and i'll go have a look."
so i turn to rob and say "can you just stay here for a sec whilst i go look for something?" and just as i reached the shelf to go have a look i notice that the older one has come thundering along the aisle to watch me. obviously, he must think i'm going to go running to the shelf just to hide the labels and con him out of money. obviously, i work on commision that way.
so, i look at the shelf and realise the the label he was looking at was for a different item THREE SHELVES DOWN.
how in god's name can anyone get that confused? fair enough if the label is just above or just below what he's tried to buy but THREE SHELVES DOWN?

my heart sinks because i realise that i am going to have to spend about eight years trying to explain this to him...and just as i thought...he was having none of it.

him - "WELL IT'S NOT VERY CLEAR IS IT!" and ANYWAY, you still have to give it to me because it's all gone through your till!"
me - "no, i don't have to because it's YOUR mistake. the shelving is clear, the labels are clear..." i then had to stop myself because i was very close to saying "you're going blind and you need shooting. now piss off out of my shop!"

in the end, i had just about had enough that day and decided to get colin to explain it to him before i caused someone actual bodily harm
of course, the old man was very nice and very polite to colin. they always are once a manager is called. it's just us wretched people at the bottom of the food chain that they insult.

the other two stand out customers from wednesday was the mother and daughter combination with weird accents who between them had me wanting to shove fireworks down their throats.

i very clearly heard their conversation in the queue just before i served them.

"mum, can you get me some cigarettes?"
"kayleigh, this is the last time. and only because it's the school holidays."
"oh, thanks mum!"

normally, i don't really care about this sort of thing. if fully grown adults want to be irresponsible and buy their kids cigarettes then that's their problem...but not when i'm serving them. mainly it's because i can't stand the kid gloating that they've outfoxed me. and other times it's because i think "shit, what if this is all a trick by the police, and they spoke in the queue loud enough for me to hear it to test me!"

i've had a test purchase done on me before by the police, luckily i passed it, but ever since then it's made me totally paraniod and totally over the top with IDing people - fortunatly i love to ID people.

well, i say i love IDing people but on this occasion i was hoping, praying that i wouldn't have to serve them because i'd had enough of people shouting at me for one day.
up they came, though, the pair of them...and then the fun began.

the mother - "and i want 20 sovereign." she crows. and i start to panic because i really can't be bothered with another argument. i was already an emotion wreck as it was.
me - "oh, well, i can't serve them to you because i heard your conversation in the queue."
the mother - "WHAT CONVERSATION? THEY ARE FOR ME!"
me - "well, as i have reason to think otherwise then i can't sell them to you."
the daughter - "BUT THEY INT FOR ME! THEY'RE FOR ME MAM!"
the mother - "GIVE ME ANOTHER BRAND AND THEN YOU CAN SELL THEM TO ME!"

sorry, what? why would i just suddenly decide to break the law because you're buying a different brand?

me - "i'm sorry...i can't sell you any cigarettes."
mother - "well f*ck ya, then. c'mon kayleigh...let's get OUT OF HERE."

...another satisfied customer.


and lastly, to round off an already perfect shift, i had the guy who couldn't speak properly and spat all over the counter as he tried to ask for something.
long after he left, the spit just sat there...staring at me. laughing at me.
i had to get someone else to clean it off...i don't do bodily fluids. especially not after what i'd been through already that day.


thursday:

i went in a bit early on thursday because i'd run out of milk at home and wanted to sit down in the staff room with a nice coffee to psyke myself up for the shift ahead.
this was a bad idea because 15 minutes before i was due to start i get dean burst in and say "oh you couldn't help us out on tills, could you? it's heaving out there!"

what i wanted to say in response was this:
"actually, no. i won't get paid for those extra 15 minutes work, my coffee will get cold and i will no doubt get yelled at if i go to make myself another.
you lot are quite happy to talk to me like shit when you want to look the hardman, but you're also quite happy to beg me to start early. FUCK OFF."

but what i actually said, because i'm quite eager to please everyone around me, was "sure, dean, no problem!"

what is wrong with me? why do i let people walk all over me like that? they don't appriciate it...so why bother? i tell you why i bother...because i was more concerned for the people already on the till getting yelled at by customers than i was trying to please dean. i know what it's like having no-one to serve with you when the queue is that long it's going off out to australia...it's HORRIBLE.

anyway, so i hop on a till and my first few customers are actually really nice. one was a lady who i always chat to and she told me to "be good, and if i can't be good then be myself..." haha! :)

however, my first arsehole of the day was the guy who was PAYING WITH HIS CARD and yet still expected me to be opening my till at the end of serving him."
man - "and when you're done i want you to change me fiver into five pound coins, okay?"
me - "right, well you'll have to wait till i've served someone else because i wont be opening my till."
man- "er, to give me my change you will?"
me - "but you're paying with your card..."
man - "oh yeah. WELL THIS IS JUST A STUPID SET UP THEN!"

....ha ha ha ha. moron.

he should have got married to the women i served a few customers after him...she was an idiot who bought a kingsize variety of a brand of cigarettes, but then realised she actually wanted superkings.
for that kind of thing, you have to get it refunded through the till...but she actually wanted me to just swap it over myself and not only that...actually let her have superkings for the price of the kingsize!
i said no. i wasn't even polite about it. she wasn't being polite so why should i?
the hilarious moment was when she glared at me and said "DO IT NOW!" LOL! it reminded me of my old geography teacher...so i admit it - i burst out laughing in her face. not at her, though! however, i can understand why she might have thought that...how was she to know i was picturing her with a wig and bad teeth?

actually, i can't even remember how the whole scene ended...she accepted she had to get a refund, though...so i don't even get to have a punchline for the end of this story. quite boring, really.

anyway, hayley gave me the laugh of the afternoon.
michelle was serving a lady with a big bag of shopping, and had put the customers baguette to one side on the next till.
i was standing nearby waiting to collect the baskets...when hayley tottered up to me and started chatting away to me. she then spotted the baguette just sitting there and, i admit, it did look like it was just left there to be put back.
thinking it was just sitting there for no good reason...hayley picks it up and starts playfully beating me with it! the customer looks up with an evil glare, the colour drains from michelle's face and she says "er, hayley, that baguette actually belonged to the customer i'm serving..."

LOL!

oh my god, that was it! i had to go out the back and just die. i literally went out the back and fell on the floor. hayley's facial expression was the funniest thing i've seen this year so far...actually, i think it probably will go down as one of the moments of the year.

my shift on thursday was quite theraputic, actually. after the stress of wednesday...i needed a good laugh and thursday was full of them.

my favourite customers of the evening had to have been the really, really weird couple that kept argueing over how big they thought our till was in centremetres. the conversation made no sense, either.
he was short, bald, with a pitch black moustache. he had a suitcase and wore a greenish raincoat.
she was short, greasy hair, also with pitch black facial hair, she wore a extremely oversized coat with flowers all over it.
so, now you know how they looked...picture the scene:

man - "how big do you reckon that till is?"
woman - "not as big as the one we had in our office that time."
man - "10. i'd say 10 centremetres."
woman - "yes, but why measure it like that? you know i don't work in centremetres."
man - "10. i'd say 10"
woman - "8"
man - "10"
woman - "how about we just stop this now, eh? we have stuff to cook."
man - "shall we ask the kid at the till how big it is?"
woman - "maybe they don't know."

...i was thinking "oh crikey, don't bring me into this conversation!" and luckily they didn't. i think they decided on 15 in the end...thank god we don't sell rulers otherwise i'd have been stuck with them for ages!

after that, i had to go outside to fetch a bag full of wine someone had left outside...it must have had at least £50 worth of wine inside it. who the hell would forget that? and more to the point...i'm surprised no-one else helped themselves to it!

oh, and then i had the fear of god put into me when i served this woman who had a gaggle of kids around her.
i'm not lying...there were about five or six kids circled around her...and they were all STARING at me. all six of them, all at once, looking right at me in the eye.
god, i could have screamed...i was waiting for them all to start syncronised blinking at me. and to suddenly start bleeding from the eyes. i was TERRIFIED.

so i scuttled off to clean the coffee machine. bad idea because it just so happened that bad tempered ol' bastard with a dirty vest and hairy chest wanted a coffee.
if i'd have known he was about to make his grand entrance i'd have left it till he'd got his coffee because all i got was
dirty scumbag - "eh, how long is this gonna take?"
me - "5 to 10 minutes."
dirty scumbag - "fecks sake. i int got that long!"
me - "well, i am very sorry about that."

and i said that in a sincere tone even though it probably sounded really sarcastic. maybe because deep down i WAS being sarcastic.
then when he sodded off, i got a lady come up to me asking "have you got any chickens out the back?"
me - "well, i'm afraid i can't have a look at the moment because i can't leave the coffee machine."
her - "why not?"
me - "because hot water is coming out of it and if someone hurts themselves on it then it's my fault."
her - "FOR GOD'S SAKE IT WILL ONLY TAKE 10 SECONDS TO LOOK!"

ahahaha is she a chicken, herself? 10 seconds? to go into our chiller and look at our meats cage to see if there's any chicken on it? i think 2 minutes would be more likely. plus, 10 seconds or not...i still can't leave boiling hot water unattended!

she off she huffed "i'll ask someone else then!" and she must have done because a few minutes later bob came out of nowhere holding a chicken and with a pissed off face.
i later asked him what was up "this cow tapped me on the shoulder and demanded i got her a chicken. don't know if you saw her or not..."

...ah, well, now you come to mention it...


not much else happened after that...i was really tired and kept clock watching because i wanted to go home. clock watching is the WORST thing to do...no matter how many times you do it...the time always stays the same - or so it seems.
however, it was a good night...i had fun which is what it's all about for me. and i left work feeling a lot better about myself and about work in general.



i went home, had a ham and pineapple pizza, and watched hells kitchen...after a hard week at work...you can't get much better than that.



oh! before i go, one thing i forgot to mention was the black man who came up to me. i had half an hour to go and really couldn't be arsed with going out the back to look for cheesestrings or anything equally as pointless...
man - "excuse me, does this win mean anything?" he had a lottery scratchcard. i took it from him, utterly uninterested, took a look at it and my jaw dropped...
me - "does it mean anything? just a bit! you've won £10,000!"
him - "oh, really? sweet!"

...is that it? sweet?

oh, i should have lied and said "no, you've won nothing. i'll throw it in the bin if you like..."
however, karma bites, folks...so i was honest and can sleep better for it lol...but wow, £10,000? why can't i win anything like that? in fact, why can't i win anything full stop?

anyway, that's my round up for the week....after a bad start it all worked out in the end...and i'm happy if a little tired. :)

until next time
xx